Friday, November 29, 2002
The bliss of Solitude as I just told him. After that tornado that stuck me yesterday afternoon.. I guess, Iam slowly recuperating trying to find all the pieces of this jigsaw puzzle called life. When the realisation stuck me that Iam not going anywhere, when right before me are roads to all places and choosing one is not a matter of choice but of compulsion. Guess, I have inched towards one of them now.. let's hope this momentum continues, and accelerates with time and initiatives.
You know the worst punishment that any living soul could experience... living with something that is irrepairable, that is so totally beyond your capacity and yet shall disturb your life as you can never fathom. Something that shuns you from the right to possess what you like and leaves you helpless and invalid. All you can do is to stare at it and file a million cases to the one above, asking him reasons for having done so. I can survive of course, deserting all that I loved and dying as a survivor in the land of death. Sometimes I start asking myself this... You work so hard to make a home of your own and feel protective and responsible for it. Is that the end of the human race? And if someone defies this assumption of seeing his home as the culmination of his endeavours.. what is the binding factor in his life? And if all I love is never mine.. on what shall depend where I want to go? I shall be this soul without a body of its own.. walking in the wind with the clouds where my whims take me. And when a time shall come when the one above shall mark the irrepairable distance between the loved and me ... I realise I shall just walk away from all that's around me. Am I right when I say, when you love something so much and see your world spin as that as your world's axis.. you learn to live with a universe that's lifeless and passive coz' all the life is within you... within those characters that inhabit your heart. A time shall come, when even the reality that those loved ones are not yours anymore wouldn't shake you out of this daydream of yours and you continue to live your life with those toys in the mind's lair... oblivious to the seasons, people, skies, stars and the worlds beyond. God give me the strength to keep my loved ones happy and the poise to leave them for the faith that, they will be happier elsewhere. God, give this soul death than the realisation that it is not capable of carving a smile on the face it loves the most. God give me the hope to believe life is anyday better than death. God... Let me Live. Amen.
¶ 11:24 AM
You know the worst punishment that any living soul could experience... living with something that is irrepairable, that is so totally beyond your capacity and yet shall disturb your life as you can never fathom. Something that shuns you from the right to possess what you like and leaves you helpless and invalid. All you can do is to stare at it and file a million cases to the one above, asking him reasons for having done so. I can survive of course, deserting all that I loved and dying as a survivor in the land of death. Sometimes I start asking myself this... You work so hard to make a home of your own and feel protective and responsible for it. Is that the end of the human race? And if someone defies this assumption of seeing his home as the culmination of his endeavours.. what is the binding factor in his life? And if all I love is never mine.. on what shall depend where I want to go? I shall be this soul without a body of its own.. walking in the wind with the clouds where my whims take me. And when a time shall come when the one above shall mark the irrepairable distance between the loved and me ... I realise I shall just walk away from all that's around me. Am I right when I say, when you love something so much and see your world spin as that as your world's axis.. you learn to live with a universe that's lifeless and passive coz' all the life is within you... within those characters that inhabit your heart. A time shall come, when even the reality that those loved ones are not yours anymore wouldn't shake you out of this daydream of yours and you continue to live your life with those toys in the mind's lair... oblivious to the seasons, people, skies, stars and the worlds beyond. God give me the strength to keep my loved ones happy and the poise to leave them for the faith that, they will be happier elsewhere. God, give this soul death than the realisation that it is not capable of carving a smile on the face it loves the most. God give me the hope to believe life is anyday better than death. God... Let me Live. Amen.
¶ 11:24 AM
