Summer Showers
Wednesday, January 01, 2003
  Bonne Annee. For the first time in my life, Iam spending a new year's eve outside my house. And for the first time, I missing my bro's birthday! It's been a practice that I wouldn't want to quit, penning a few lines down.... an introspection of the year that went by and an effort to focus on the bigger picture for the next year. The bygone year has been good, rather excellent, in many aspects. May be the best thing about 2002 is that, it's left me with a long list of things-to-dos for the year to come. Yesterday, lying in my bed ... trying hard to sleep, an hour long movie on what my near future should be like screened itself before my eyes. A diffidence in realising my resolutions has been reaffirmed with every year that's passed by.... it's like standing near the sign that reads "Welcome to a new year!" with an Ark of promises on my back. And everytime the sun dawns, I look at my ark and say "they shall be done tomorrow" and carry them everyday! And lo, comes a day when I see the next sign on my way!! And a truckload of wishes wait beside the board to strain my back for another long mile...
Hm... and so standing here, I tell myself I would ... learn to play the guitar, write my second screenplay, go to the gym, learn salsa, start talking in french, get my hands on the steering wheel ... and so goes the list for another kilometer. It's all in a pursuit of the smile that you wear, when someone out of the blue asks you how your year has been so far and you suddenly realise, despite all these broken promises, that you have actually had a wonderful year! You remember the smiles etched on those faces you would never forget, the drops of rain that fell on your face and sank in your hearts, the look in the eyes, the touch of the hands, the tears that you never saw, the stabs that you shall forever feel, and the distances that shall always remain the same.
And from where I stand now ... when all the roads in my life seem to converge into a huge illusion, promises are all I've. And each day is yet another step towards the horizon. "No one is given the right to wish for something, without being given the means to achieve it!" .. and if that's so, I shall walk any extra mile to get my life in place. And, let this new year be a huge step in the right direction. Aho! I come .... 
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